My parents (really and truly) dressed up, looking great (as usual) and ready to have a good time (as always) at a Murder on the Orient Express Theme Party in Wilson. They may want to murder me for printing this story but it's too funny not to share. Here goes:

File Another One Under:

Does This Shit Happen to Anyone Else Besides Me?!

Susan and I were at a family wedding in Atlanta and at the end of the reception a very attractive, Buckhead doyenne, blonde, bejeweled and dressed to the max kept staring at me. I assumed it was because she thought I was....well a hot guy from Wilson, NC who she had to get to know (it could happen). I know. Probably not. Stay with me for a minute.

As we walked to our table to sit down to rest from dancing the Twist (my grandfather Tom's favorite....and it was easier for me to do at the last wedding we attended) she followed us and sat down beside me and said, "I think I know you." I'm thinking, "I've still got it!" Susan's thinking, "She can have him!"

Actually, she looked familiar to me and I told her so and I followed up with, "Maybe you were at UNC in the late 70's when we were there?"

She replied, "Nope. I went to Pfieffer and graduated in 1971"

I said, "Well our paths didn't cross in college."

She looked down for a moment and then suddenly took a deep breath and looked me right in the eye and said, "I'm going to get right to the point. Do you have brown eyes or blue?" This was getting serious, I could tell by the look in her eyes. She had a thing for brown-eyed insurance guys. With their wife sitting next to them. It could happen.

"Brown" but I wasn't sure if that was the right or the wrong answer.

"Well my brother has blue eyes. And with that one exception, you look exactly, and I mean EXACTLY like my brother. It's scary. You two are identical. Same everything." I'm thinking, "EVERYTHING!? Yipes! She must have x-ray vision like the ads in the back of those old comic books I read growing up.

I didn't quite know where this was going, but I said, "Well I grew up in Wilson, which is in Eastern NC...did you grow up in Atlanta?"

"No...I grew up in Lincolnton in the western part of NC and my family owned a furniture company and my father traveled a lot....sometimes down east"

Wait a minute. Did she just imply her father "met" (ahem) my mother?

Maybe my father "met" HER mother?! Maybe HER mother is the slut and not mine.

Well isn't this an interesting situation.

I've met a lot of people at a lot of social events, but never one like this. I liked her. I liked her audacity. We did have something in common but I didn't think it was genetics.

"Well, I look a lot like my father and I'm built a lot like my mother's father, so I don't think there's much of a chance that your father is my father...."

Her husband lumbered up and shook my hand and said hello to Susan, and said, "She didn't just say to you what I think she said to you did she?!"

"Yep"

"Damn. It's all she's been talking about since she first saw you. I was wondering how she was going to approach you. Damn."

We laughed, talked a few minutes and they walked away. But I can't get her off of my mind. I want to see what her brother looks like although I kinda already know. I want to see pictures of her father. I want to ask my mother if she ever knew the scion of a certain furniture company family-she did have a soft spot in her heart for an hier. And there is the nice fur coat that showed up at our house. Wait. No. Can't be.

23 and Me here we come. Do I have another sister and brother out there?! Probably not....but.....